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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My very first blog!

Lessons I Have Taught My Human

1. "Woolly undercoat" doesn't begin to describe it.

2. The Lord and Lady (or God, or Buddha, or Odin, or Allah) are to be thanked for not letting Mom throw out those "useless" grooming tools the girls never let her use on them.

3. Butter is a food group all its own. How could she not know that already?

4. Patience is a virtue (mine).

5. Countersurfing is a sport.

6. Rescuing me rescues Mom, too.

7. Patience is a miracle (hers). Although she sees it differently.

8. Hiding things from me is nearly impossible.

9. Mom really does need a king-sized bed.

10. Even a reasonably intelligent biped can be made to look like an idiot by a reasonably intelligent quadruped. Namely, us!

11. The words "toddler", "Sibe", and "grooming" do not, at any time, belong in the same sentence. Actually, "grooming" doesn't belong in ANY sentence!

12. The words "toddler" and "Sibe" in the same sentence mean that somewhere nearby, there is a large mess to clean up. For Mom, that is. I don't have thumbs!

13. They also mean that the toddler is giggling uncontrollably, which Mom thinks is one of the most precious sounds in the universe. Personally, I think my voice is the most precious sound in the universe.

14. Yes, I really am laughing at you. Humans are funny!

15. A black and white blanket on your bed enables your black and white Sibe to camouflage himself and scare the living hell out of you merely by twitching a muscle. I've done it, so I know it works. Just make sure the light in the room is dim enough! Otherwise, your mom will see you.

16. Just because they're your legs, it doesn't mean it's your lap. It's my lap, because I'm cute and cuddly. You love it, and you know it.

17. By the same token, just because you bought the bed with your money, it doesn't mean it's your bed. I'll allow you some space on it though.

18. Selective hearing is not only a human talent. Actually, it isn't selective. I didn't hear you. Honest.

19. You're as innocent as you look, regardless of the havoc in your immediate orbit. Don't you believe me?

20. See number 14. That one's worth repeating.

1 woos:

Kito said...

These are all so true!! Just ask my mom.