The Virtual Fire Hydrant

Please Help Us Find Blue: His Family Misses Him!

HULA Certification

HULA Certificate

Monday, August 31, 2009


This post is late, and it's Mama's fault! First of all, she forgot to keep me in the loop of important dates, and then she forgot to tell me what the date actually was, AND she forgot that her brother, Smoky, and Bandit all had a birthday on the 29th! Sheesh! At least she remembered her brother's birthday on the proper date, but she forgot my sisters altogether!

So, I am finally here to post a happy belated birthday to my Lab sisters, Smoky and Bandit, who turned six years old on 8/29/09! Smoky remains her dark chocolate self, but Bandit has begun to show her age in the grey hairs appearing on her chin. That's the only place, though: she is still our hyper, playful, puppy-brained sister!

In the interest of fairness and smoothing over any hurt feelings, I call on Mama to make reparation to us all for forgetting the girls' birthday by giving us extra livergreat tonight, and allowing us all to sleep wherever we like on the bed, no matter how uncomfortable it makes the humans! And, if Bandit wishes, she should be allowed to sleep in the little biped's room tonight, even if she keeps the little biped up playing all night. This point, however, is negotiable, although the rest are not!! A lesson must be taught, here!


Monday, June 22, 2009


Yes, every so often there is something more important to post about than me, and this is one of those times.

Laska is a rescue pup, like me, and he is heartworm positive and needs medication for it. Mama has received a flyer about him, so I will post it here:

"Laska has been missing since June 21st. Last seen near Lakeshore Drive in Hewitt, NJ. Laska is very fearful and may run away if you try to approach him. If you see him, please call 1-862-881-0568 immediately. Thank you."

Here is a picture of Laska:

I couldn't get the other picture of him to work, but I will continue to try. Please, if you know people in this area, have them keep a lookout for him. Even if you don't, crosspost this to as many places as you can and get your prayers out there. Laska was thisclose to being PTS when he was rescued from North Carolina. He has come so far since then; we can't let it end for him now!

Thank woo,


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Secret, Revealed!

Mama couldn't keep from telling everyone, so I am now free to reveal the secret I had sworn to keep: Mama is going to whelp and have puppies!

Wait, Mama has corrected me. In humans it's giving birth and having babies. She further corrects that it isn't "babies", it's "baby". Don't humans have more than one at a time, like dogs do? I'll have to research that.

So, she will be spending a lot of time at the doctor's office over the next nine months. Wow, nine months! It only takes us dogs about 65 days! Humans really are weird, taking so long to have one furless puppy, when it only takes us two months to have several! I don't get it. But, anyway, I'm not sure how I feel about the new pup yet. Smoky and Bandit are happy about it, but they told me the pup won't be giving us bonus food for months, and that the pup pretty much only sleeps and eats just like a regular pup, except it can't even crawl right away! So I'm gonna reserve judgment till after I meet this new pup!


Saturday, May 23, 2009

With An Oink, Oink Here...

Harooo! I was about to post about grooming...AGAIN...when I remembered that I never told anyone the story of the pig I met! Not that Mama was happy about it...

Well, here's how the story goes: Smoky, Bandit, and I were all in the dog yard, and we see the neighbor's pig snuffling around our yard. We've never seen it up close before, but it was in our yard! So we discussed it, rather loudly, trying to get Mama's attention, but I guess she was too busy cooking dinner, and we are always loud, BOL! Bandit and I agreed, we had to drive the pig off. Smoky didn't want any part of it, the goody two paws. So Bandit and I got out of the yard by laying the fence down flat and walking out (Mama has long since figured it out and killed our fun).

Pigs are BIG! I didn't know this! He was definitely bigger than I am, and I'm the biggest dog in the whole family! Can you imagine how much bacon and ham and pork chops and pork roast and spareribs you could get out of one pig?! Yummy! And we figured that if he didn't leave our yard, we would get all of that! But it was not to be. I guess two of us together scared him enough to start him moving on home.

By now, Mama had figured out what was going on, and, typical for a human, she was freaking out. She actually chased us in the car, thinking we would give up on the pig in favor of a ride! Boy, was she wrong! Okay, half wrong: Bandit did give up the chase for the car. Stupid Labs. But it was kind of funny, since Mama was basically offroading in a Chevy Cavalier. Now, I'm no expert on cars, but even I know you don't offroad in a Cavalier. Mama was desperate though. She had no faith in my hunting abilities. She thought the pig was going to really hurt me or kill me, can you imagine that? So since I wasn't about to give up all the fun I was having, she started calling everyone for help. Animal Control, the livestock people, the Sheriff's Department, everyone, and they all told her they didn't help with this sort of thing.

So, for four hours, Mama stood in the yard and kept calling me. She probably would have caught me if she had just walked up to the pig, but she doesn't know anything about pigs and was scared. Silly human!

Finally, the pig's people came home, and that was the end of my fun. They laughed at Mama because she thought the pig was already big enough, and they said he was only a baby still and would grow much bigger! Wow! Mama turned dead white, and that's saying something, since Mama's Black! BOL!

The pig got corralled, but I still wouldn't come home, so Mama went and got me extra dinner to get me to come home. Well, of course that worked! So that was my adventure with the pig. Wasn't that great?

Oh yeah, the grooming thing. Well, this first picture is three hours worth of work, just on my rump and back legs, with me arguing all the way:And, of course, this one is of my dashing good looks. Do I look like I need to be groomed?? Honestly!

Well, that's all for today! I do have more news, but I've been sworn to secrecy yet, by Mama, and since she controls the food and the grooming brush, I'll keep quiet for a bit longer. I'll give you a hint though: it has to do with family! Gnaw on that for awhile, haroooooooo!



Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Catching Up

I didn't realize how long it had been since Mama last let me use the computer! I'm going to have to nag her a bit more often about letting me keep up my blog! She updated hers TWICE yesterday, after all!

I guess the biggest piece of news I have is that Lita has left the family, for those who didn't know. She never wanted to fit in with the rest of us, and she wanted to be alpha so badly that she endangered the small biped. I don't do that! I may chew on Mama and Dad when we're playing, but I never use my teeth when the little biped is around, and neither do Smoky and Bandit! But LeeLee did, and so Mama didn't have a choice. LeeLee went to the shelter a bit over a month ago, and Mama cried a lot after she left. The house is a lot quieter now, but no one is ready to bring another dog home yet. Mama and the little biped are still missing LeeLee too much.

That's the only sad news though. Now we have the stupid news: Mama came up with new names for us dogs. Why can't she just call us dogs? No, now she calls us "furbles" instead of "furballs", which was bad enough! And "fuzzlebutt"! What the heck is a fuzzlebutt? Where does she come up with these things?! Can't she come up with something with a little dignity to it? Helloooooo!

Summer weather is already setting in here, or at least what Mama and I call summer weather! The people and pups native to Arizona call it spring weather, but 90 and 100 degree temperatures are summer temperatures where we come from!! So we are spending less time outside now because it's too hot. But Mama keeps the air conditioner on in the living room all day, so that's okay. I get to lie around on the human sofa instead. Yes, we have a human sofa and a dog sofa in the living room, and no dogs are supposed to be on the human sofa. That was the rule Dad set. But I'm so cute, even Dad lets me get away with pretty much anything except countersurfing. Smoky and Bandit have lived with Mama and Dad for nearly six years, and they don't get away with the amount of stuff I do! Harooooooooooooo! On the other hand, they sleep on the bed with Mama and Dad all the time, and I don't. Not that I'm not allowed to, I just don't choose to!

The little biped is getting more fun as she gets older, and we make Mama do a lot of screaming at us to calm down! BOL! Like that's gonna happen! It's too much fun to make her yell at us! But she did find something to make us calm down somewhat. It's this computer radio called Pandora, and when we get way out of hand (according to her, anyway), or when she's doing beadwork, Mama puts on this station of something she calls Celtic music. Even I can't help but slow down when it's on. I can't help it. It's soft and slow and boooooorrrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnng! It makes me go to sleep, but Mama loves it and stays awake. I just don't get it. Humans are just weird.

Well, I'm gonna go outside and steal the tennis ball from Smoky for a little while now that it's cooling off. I promise to try and get the computer from Mama again soon! Later!