The Lord of Destruction!

Mom is so silly sometimes! She always makes sure that the humans and the canines have meals at the same time so that she doesn't feel guilty about crating us while we're eating, and she always says that she's going to make sure the leftovers are put away before she lets us out so I can't countersurf. HA! First of all, I can countersurf even if there's nothing there. I have to keep checking, after all, because she'll forget something at least once a day. I have to thank my human sister for that. See, Avi gets very messy when she eats, so Mom will get sidetracked by having to clean her up, and she will forget to put away the leftovers first. So after she cleans Avi up, then she lets us out. First, we go and clean up whatever Avi has thoughtfully left on the floor for us. She always leaves something for us, after every meal. She's a very kind child, and she likes to share with us. Then, I get to the counters, quick! Because sometimes Mom will remember the food before we get done eating Avi's gifts. That's never good. My sisters don't countersurf, and they aren't as big as me anyway, so this is my area of expertise!

This week, I broke a bowl (Mom thought it was an accident, but I have to maintain my HULA position), shredded a potholder, and removed all the dirty silverware from the sink to clean at my leisure. That stuff is small enough to carry without making much noise to alert Mom to what I'm doing. Plates and pots make too much noise, so those I clean where they are. I do a good job, too, so I don't understand why Mom takes these items and cleans them again with soap and water. They were clean enough when I was done with them! Jeez. Maybe I should take a lesson from Meeshka and start clawing her when she insults me that way.

Last night, Mom made fried chicken and didn't give us any!! How rude! She said something about chicken bones being dangerous. I totally disagreed with that. Well, she made a mistake. She put the bones in the garbage. We have a rolltop garbage can in the utility room, and Mom didn't know I knew how to open it. I was quick! On the way outside to go potty, my sisters and Wolfie completely ignored the delicious smells of fried chicken coming from the garbage. Not me! Right in front of Mom, I nosed open the can and grabbed the bones. They were right on top, just waiting for me! I didn't get to eat them, though, but I tried really hard! Mom tackled me--I didn't expect that!!--and she grabbed my muzzle and pulled my mouth open and took the bones out of my mouth. How do you like that? I made her work for it though. I clamped my mouth shut, so she had to pry it open. I'll have to be a little sneakier next time. Maybe raiding the can isn't such a good idea when she's standing right there, huh? I'll have to wait until Dad is the only one home. He always forgets to close the utility room door after he lets us in. Mom never forgets, so when she's home, any kind of a raid is out of the question. I may have to focus on learning how to work those round things that make the door open. And I have to remember to make more noise. Mom always thinks I'm up to something if I'm too quiet. Maybe if I remember to be louder, I'll get away with more!